Well, I guess if I am going to gain any followers I'm just gonna have to do it the old fashion way: whit, sass, and occasional moments of frailty. I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Nick Sawatsky. Saw-At-Sky. That's fun, huh? I am
Okay. More about me. I'm a starving novelist. Seriously. I'm starving. I barely eat anything. I once weighed in at 293 pounds. That was in August 2010. Since then I have dropped that shit like it hot. I dropped around
I don't have the dough, because I am a Creative Writing major at Hiram College and kind of work at KFC. I say "kind of", because today my boss sat me down and made me sign my name at the bottom of a paragraph that described in detail what a horrendous worker I am. I guess it's a warning, but listen, I ain't even mad. Actually, I'm kind of sad. Who can't properly pack orders of fried chicken? Maybe it's because all the chemicals have warped the drumsticks to look like breasts and the thighs to look like my grease ridden future as a fast food manager instead of a lauded author. That kind of shit distracts a guy. Only good news, since I'm probably kicking that extra crispy bucket soon, I won't ever have to update my facebook employment section to "Manager at KFC." Is that even allowed? I feel like KFC managers shouldn't be allowed on facebook. Or the internet. Or the earth. So since that's out of the way, I guess I'll be homeless.
OR NOT. Because I am writing a novel. Guess what? You can't say you're writing a novel without sounding like a pretentious douche-bag. Go on, try it.
"I'm writing a novel," says my followers that do not exist.
"Oh, you sound like a douche. Keep following me, please," says Nick.
Alas, it's true. Saying "alas" will also make you sound like a douche. I am writing a novel. MY SECOND NOVEL TO BE PRECISE. This is because my first novel was a haphazard conundrum of
I'm hungry so I'm going to go eat that nothing I've been looking forward to. Leave me comments. Follow me. Please. I'm a very nice boy that loves to read and also loves his mother.
Cliff notes: Nick Saw-At-Sky = Gay, used to be fat, KFC hate, writing book, literary agents, loves books and mom.
In the future I plan to blog about books, writing, losing weight, and the monotony of my life. Be there or be square.