Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Accio, Childhood (More Harry Potter)


Spoiler Alert.

My time with Harry Potter is strange. I'm not an obsessive fan and mostly if you ask me about the series, I'll mumble something about it being fine story telling, but lacking in language. I stick to that statement even at times like these. These times are the times that Harry finds me. It's often in July or November, maybe December now and again. It's whenever a new book or film arrives. It was in elementary school, middle school, high school, and college. He swoops in on his Nimbus 2000 Firebolt to prove time after time that his magic is not just in wands and potions, but in nostalgia and an unfailing ability to transfigure me back to childhood. I become a ravenous fan in these periods and although my hunger wanes with time, there's always a reprisal whenever he comes back.

What's sad is this: the "it's" are now "it was." Harry will not come looking for me again. He himself is now a piece of nostalgia, just memory.

So I had been preparing myself for HP n Da Deathly Hallows all week by watching the previous films and reminiscing of my childhood years spent sprawled on the floor munching away at the books. It's all very rushing to me, like I'm in a fast car... or a train... express train... HOGWARTS EXPRESS *bursts into tears*

And then the car halted and I broke my nose on the dashboard when the credits rolled.

So yeah, I cried a bit. A lot. I guess I'll just run down the major waterworks:
- The title card. It was the last one. Ever.
- When those horrible Goblins rattled at the sun deprived dragon and then again when the dragon smelled fresh air and then again when it escaped to the sky. I really felt for that thing.
- Any time McGonagall looked at the camera. Her eyes were so tired and brimming.
- When Snape told Harry to take his tears. TAKE MINE TOO, HARRY!
- The Prince's Tale. As if I even need to explain.
- Harry accepting his fate.
- Harry closing his eyes.

I guess that doesn't seem like all that much, but shut up. I sniffled. Yeah, sniffled. With my nose. More of a snort snotty sniff. It upset the man next to me, but I didn't care. Through half the film this dude was making origami or something with his popcorn bag, because you just can't make as much noise with a bag as he did by simply putting  your hand in it. He also smelled like nicotine. AND HAD AN UNKEMPT BEARD.

I found this HP survey online and decided to give it a whirl, just to share some of my thoughts on the series as a whole. And I need some closure.

Favorite Book in the Series
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince or Deathly Hallows or Order of the Phoenix.
Least Favorite Book in the Series
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets? 
Favorite Character
Harry Potter. Sorry if that isn't original. Hermione is my main bitch. Ron also. And everyone else except Luna. She was obnoxious and said things at inappropriate times. I hated Draco too. Maybe I just don't like fair skinned blondes? I wish I had that complexion. It must be jealousy. And that can't be right, because I love Hedwig. 
Favorite Villain
<3 Bellatrix <3
Saddest Moment
The Prince's Tale. Book and film.
Favorite Professor
Minerva McGonagall
Least Favorite Professor
That douche from Chamber of Secrets.
Favorite Subject
Defense Against the Dark Arts 
Least Favorite Subject
Muggle Studies sounded too much like real life.
Favorite Shop in Diagon Alley
The one with Hedwig.
Most Handsome Character
Ron or Harry or Draco. None of the others were all that fetching. FILCH.
Most Beautiful Character
Most Missed Dead Character
Sirius or Hedwig.
Favorite Book Cover
Ew, I love them for nostalgic purposes, but they're all kind of tacky. I guess POA.
Favorite Tri-Wizard Tournament Challenge
Dragons. The maze reminded me of The Shining.
Rate the Houses From Most to Least Favorite
Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin. I hate people that think it's cool to like Slytherin. No. Slytherin is comprised of assholes and cowards. 
Favorite Animagus
Favorite Unforgivable Curse
Avada Kadavera, duh.
Favorite Horcrux
Favorite Deathly Hallow
The invisibility cloak. Didn't you read that story in Beetle the Bard? That bro was the most clever.
Funniest Moment
Harry said some sassy things that made me chuckle.
Most Emotional Moment
The Prince's Tale? Can I say that again?
Aspired Quidditch Position
None. No sports. Not even magic ones.
Favorite Patronus
Snape's doe. *cries again*
What You Think Your Patronus Would Be
Favorite Dursley
Petunia. I like a good betch.
Favorite Wand
Dragon heart-string or something.
Favorite Magical Ability
Transfiguration would be fun.
Favorite Death Eater
Favorite Portrait
The fat lady.
Favorite Spell
Expecto Patronum is always so pretty and bright.

Oh, the end of an era.
You cryin', followers? Tell me about it in the comments. Or tell me what you thought of the film, the books, the end of it all.
Thanks for reading,


  1. Wow that was a wonderful post Nick! And I agree with you on the Prince's Tale... I cried like a baby!
    And I admit crying and sobbing for nearly the whole movie!!

    What was incredible epic and emotional when they all gathered together to defend Hogwards... How McGonnaghal raised the statues and they all cast the defense spells.. I was SOBBING!!!!

    I could go on and on...
    Wonderful post Nick!!!

  2. Thanks, Danny!

    Oh Minerva was at her best in this one. The way she attacked Snape, the casting of the protection spell, just everything she did. Maggie Smith was just recovering from breast cancer complications as well, so much applause to her!