Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Prized Pig


I can always tell Summer's coming to a close when the county fair rolls into town. I was pretty patriotic the day we went to the fair. I listened to American Pie by Don McLean and what is any more American than a county fair? Prized pigs, funnel cake, and freak shows are staples of the red, white, and blue.

The best part of the whole thing was on the hay ride that takes you from the parking lot field to the entrance. So I was sitting there with two of my girls and it was food drive day so I had some sweet corn in my. The air was all horse shit and cotton candy. The sky was blue. And in surveying the scene you'll never guess who was sitting there on that hay ride with me.


Uncle Sam? No.

Guess again.

Lady Liberty? No.

Fine. I'll tell you. IT WAS MY EX-KFC BOSS.

So then I made this noise that should have been a scream, but I stomped it out before it became scream. So it ended up being this muffled whale sound. I quick whispered the news to the girls, but who are we kidding? When I excited whisper I kind of shout. I realized this and stared at the can of sweet corn until we got to the gate. 70 cals per serving. 3.5 servings per can. Doesn't that seem like a lot? I had green beans the other day and they were only 20 cals per serving for the same amount. Strange.

We finally got off the ride and Ex-Boss got off first, thank God, because if I had to walk by her I probably would have stepped on her of flailed at her or something ridiculous. PS: She wore her tacky black work shoes out in public. I had on these great boots that were originally $99, but I got them for $11. Steal, huh?

The rest of the fair was fun. We looked at a lot of cows and one of the girls taught me how to tickle a horse. We ate honey and snubbed all the "photography" in the Arts & Crafts barn. I wanted to eat everything, but only had lemonade.

When we left a tanning bed boy told me through bleached teeth that I was wearing my sister's jeans. The girls tripped over each other to tell me he was a middle school moron and that I was masculine blah blah blah. But actually, I was kinda flattered.

You guys got any good fair stories?

Book update: I'm reading In Awe by Scott Heim. I like it a lot, but there is some real nasty stuff in this one.
Writing update: I WILL be reaching my goal of having the rough draft of this manuscript completed by August 27th, which is the day I head back to college for sophomore year. Yay for keeping deadlines!

Thanks for reading,


  1. I am legitimately obsessed with our local fair. When I was little, I thought it was a holiday, like Easter or Christmas.

    Ours isn't until mid-September, so when I started going to college I managed to get my parents to pick me for the weekend so I could at least go to a day and a half of it. This year I'm driving myself and roommate back home for the fair, even though I don't really care for long distance driving. I've gotten my roommate hooked on the fair like you wouldn't believe.

    As far as stories go, I've have to whittle it down to something manageable. Let's year a giant pig got loose in the pig barn and my dad helped catch it. And the first time I had my horse there, we won a first place and championship a class with a total of three horses. And then there was the year I almost got hit by Josh Turner's bus and he was wearing a Spongebob T-shirt. Good times.

  2. Oh wowee, Sarah. You really like that fair. The wild pig story is terrifying. Pigs are terrifying.